


so we agree, we all think hinata is really pretty?

by sh0tar1s



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Chaos, Chatting & Messaging, Comedy, Crack, Help, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, No Angst, No Smut, Not Beta Read, Post-Time Skip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:13:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28335960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sh0tar1s/pseuds/sh0tar1s
Summary: a chat is made for the hinata simps and they vie for hinatas loveaka: just everyone being fucking stupid just read it its literally 4 am
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Everyone, Hinata Shouyou/Hoshiumi Kourai, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma, Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu, Hinata Shouyou/Oikawa Tooru, Hinata Shouyou/Pedro, Hinata Shouyou/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 9
Kudos: 306





	so we agree, we all think hinata is really pretty?

**Author's Note:**

> kodzuken: kenma  
> yamayama: kageyama  
> miyamiya: atsumu  
> prettiest bitch: oikawa  
> pigeon man: hoshiumi  
> mr.clean: sakusa
> 
> enjoy

so we agree, we all think hinata is really pretty?

*prettiest bitch has added pigeon man to the chat*

[pigeon man]  
uhh  
does someone wanna explain why I'm here? 

[miyamiya]  
heard ya like shou-kun

[pigeon man]  
WHO SAID THAT SHIT WHATSIAKDOZ

[mr clean]  
literally no one we just know 

[pigeon man]  
but...literally how-

[kodzuken]  
whos gonna tell him?

[prettiest bitch]  
wait a minute youre in here kodzuken??🤨

[yamayama]  
is it rlly a surprise

[mr.clean]  
ur a setter, of course ur here

[kodzuken]  
true that

[yamayama]  
oh.

[prettiest bitch]  
shittttt you fucking right its a setter thing🤔

[miyamiya]  
are we serious  
is it really just setters here?

[pigeon man]  
NO

[Mr clean]  
this bitch is pretending im not here  
dumb bitch i was just saying SETTERS are here bc somehow u all played against the cracked out orange at least once

[miyamiya]  
not pretending  
manifesting  
and is that jealousy i see?

[pigeon man]  
can someone explain

[mr clean]  
dont yall just hate miya

[yamayama]  
hoshiumi do you like hinata

[pigeon man]  
THOUFHT WR ESTABLISHED THIS

[kodzuken]  
thats why ur here

[prettiest bitch]  
mhm🤗

[pigeon man]  
WAIT

[miyamiya]  
here it comes

[pigeon man]  
HOLD TF ON

[yamayama]  
im getting deja vu

[pigeon man]  
DO  
YOU  
ALL

[kodzuken]  
yes

[pigeon man]  
LIKE

[prettiest bitch]  
yes🥰

[mr clean]  
yes

[pigeon man]  
SHOUYOU

[yamayama]  
yes

[miyamiya]  
yes

[pigeon man]  
?!?!?!?!?!

[miyamiya]  
ah deja vu

[mr clean]  
stfu u experienced this ONCE

[miyamiya]  
TWICE  
U AND FUCKING OIKAWA 

[prettiest bitch]  
i had him way before u back the fuck up🙄

[kodzuken]  
oikawa go away he literally hated you when you met😋

[miyamiya]  
HA

[pigeon man]  
😗

[mr clean]  
heh

[prettiest bitch]  
correction, he was astonished to have met me😌  
and shut up piss baby i bet you have a poop sock🙄

[pigeon man]  
kageyamas rlly silent rn  
WAIT

[kodzuken]  
…

[miyamiya]  
NO

[pigeon man]  
you  
YOURE NOT SERIOUSSKSNAODKZ

[yamayama]  
had to stop typing because kenma why arent you saying anything else😕

[prettiest bitch]  
IM FUCKING CRYING💀💀💀💀💀😭😭😭😭😭  
KENMA HAS A SHIT SOCK

[kodzuken]  
i literally do not.

[miyamiya]  
WHYD YOU GO SILENT💀

[pigeon man]  
im so scared🙁

[miyamiya]  
ME TF TOO JSKANSKAMS

[prettiest bitch]  
YO WHERE IS HE  
OMI CHAN ARE YOU STILL ALIVE 

[mr clean]  
im gonna fucking cry  
kozume kenma i know you were a dirty bitch gamer but  
i  
i had more hope for you  
i should've known

[kodzuken]  
I DONT HAVE A POOPSOCK  
GOD

[yamayama]  
idk what to say except you cant backtrack now

[miyamiya]  
AYO I SEE OMI ACROSS THE ROOM GUYS HES CRYING

[pigeon man]  
UR IN THE SAME ROOM?

[miyamiya]  
YEAH

[prettiest man]  
pls take a picture omfg

[miyamiya]  
*sent photo*  
LOOOKKKKK

[pigeon man]  
DA TEARS

[prettiest bitch]  
that makes 2 of us IM FUCKING😭😭😭😭  
*sent photo*  
LOOK

[yamayama]  
ur actually crying-

[mr clean]  
IM GONNA FUCKING KILL  
SOMEONE  
MAYBE MYSELF  
KENMA WHY TJE FUCK DO U HAVE A POOP SOCK

[kodzuken]  
I DONT I DONT

[prettiest bitch]  
IM GONNA PEE MYSELF

[mr clean]  
EW DONT DO THAT EITHER YOU FUCKINF GREMLIN

[yamayama]  
HA

[miyamiya]  
banger, omi!

[mr clean]  
MIYA UR JUST AS FUCKING DISGSUTING AS THE REST  
WITH YOUR NASTY FUCKING UGLY HAIRY FEET ON TEH FUCK ASS TABLE IM GONNA FUCKINFSJSNSOIXNSIDM

[prettiest bitch]  
THE POOP SOCKBROKE HIM😭😭😭😭

[miyamiya]  
whyd he go so hard at me😧my feet arent ugly

[pigeon man]  
ive seen them yes they are

[miyamiya]  
at least my feet are bigger than a 5 year olds

[yamayama]  
a sock holds that much power

[pigeon man]  
whys atsumu even here  
what chance do u rlly have with shouyou

[kodzuken]  
sleep with one eye open, oikawa😐

[miyamiya]  
UHM, A BIG CHANCE ACTUALLY 

[prettiest bitch]  
OH IM SO SCARED😱

[pigeon man]  
mom-

[prettiest bitch]  
THE WITTLE POOP BOY IS GONNA THROW HIS SOCK AT ME! WAHHH!🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

[miyamiya]  
yum!🤤

[mr clean]  
WTF 

[pigeon man]  
ayo-

[yamayama]  
uh  
what  
yk im changing my name its too close to yours  
*yamayama is now kazekage*

[mr clean]  
MIYA WTF DID U SAY THAT FOR

[prettiest bitch]  
😟

[miyamiya]  
IM KIDDING OKAY  
ITS A JOKE🙄

[mr clean]  
HOW IS THAT A JOKE

[kodzuken]  
that was so gross

[pigeon man]  
atsumu eats poop i guess🤷♂

[kazekage]  
not surprised

[miyamiya]  
TOBIOKUN NOOOOOO

[mr clean]  
i cnnot exlain in wrds the sheer disgsut i just felt shhoot up all the way tio my head  
i cn barly tye

[miyamiya]  
i hate u all omg it was a JOKE

[kazekage]  
ur jokes r ass

[miyamiya]  
I KNOW U NOT TALKING  
AYO  
AYO SOMEONE

[kodzuken]  
yk what i gotchu  
KAGAYAMA WHY ARE YOU TALKING

[kazekage]  
NAH  
YOU CANT TALK EITHER

[prettiest bitch]  
why are ANY of you fucking speaking💀

[mr clean]  
head in hands youre all fucking stupid and suck at jokes

[prettiest bitch]  
I-  
WHY ARE Y O U TALKING  
😭😭😭😭

[kazekage]  
god you all suck yk that ur personalities r trash

[prettiest bitch]  
SCREAMING AJSOWSJAONS

[miyamiya]  
SET URSELF UP WITH THAT ONE

[pigeon man]  
omi when has hinata ever laughed at anything youve said diwndiamdkd

[mr clean]  
ill have u know i make him laugh everyday

[miyamiya]  
not special cause me too

[mr clean]  
he feels sorry for u  
thats literally the only reason

[prettiest bitch]  
i made him cry from laughter😚

[miyamiya]  
U THINK HES SORRY FOR M E  
BITCH YOU EXIST

[kodzuken]  
have u made him SOB from laughter tho?

[kazekage]  
ur all pathetic

[miyamiya]  
especially omi 

[mr clean]  
atsumu dont make me throw this knife

[prettiest bitch]  
OH DO TELL WHEN U MADE HIM LAUGH  
WAIT-  
KNIFE?😟

[miyamiya]  
FUCKING HELP ME

[kazekage]  
ive made him laugh many times

[pigeon man]  
doubt it

[kazekage]  
literally never setting for u again

[miyamiya]  
}•¡•}○•¡}▪︎  
HELPmziamsowm  
HELPP

[prettiest bitch]  
is he?  
is he acc like  
using tje knife or  
like wtf is happening 😧

[kazekage]  
gods work

[pigeon man]  
damn finally

[kodzuken]  
well deserved me thinks

[miyamiya]  
I HATW YOU ALL  
ITS NOT A KNIFE  
FUCKAKAK  
OMI STOPPPSISKAOSKSO

[pigeon man]  
i wish this was recorded tbh  
wheres suna when we need him

[kazekage]  
when the world needed him most

[kodzuken]  
he vanished

[prettiest bitch]  
anyways im bored lets talk about cupcake😎

[kodzuken]  
huh

[kazekage]  
?

[pigeon man]  
cupcake??  
who???

[prettiest bitch]  
shou-chan  
DUH🙄

[kazekage]  
you call him cupcake-

[prettiest bitch]  
sure diddly darn do😊

[kodzuken]  
never say that again  
also ur emojis r so annoying stfu

[pigeon man]  
^

[prettiest bitch]  
🙄  
anyways  
idky tobio-chan is speaking  
you still call him hinata

[kodzuken]  
idky he doesnt just say shouyou

[prettiest bitch]  
ill tell you why🧐  
he a bitch🤣  
AND shou-chan doesnt care🥱

[kazekage]  
thats why u were a one night stand

[kodzuken]  
omfg

[pigeon man]  
YIKES

[prettiest bitch]  
yk what  
i may be a one night stand  
but he still texts me religiously after that one night🥴

[kazekage]  
and?

[prettiest bitch]  
have YOU tapped it yet?

[kodzuken]  
whys he not replying

[pigeon man]  
damn...how long have they been friends for?

[kodzuken]  
like 7 years

[prettiest bitch]  
and when i pee myself from laughter?

[kazekage]  
i hate yall

[prettiest bitch]  
hows it my fault you havent hit it yet🤧

[kodzuken]  
whats taking you so long  
wait no  
dont touch him

[prettiest bitch]  
p sure i should be saying that😴

[kodzuken]  
k one night stand  
im literally his sugar daddy  
i got the power YOU want

[kazekage]  
how did that even happen

[kodzuken]  
live streaming

[pigeon man]  
streaming what?

[kodzuken]  
no questions

[prettiest bitch]  
AH😃  
WDYM

[kodzuken]  
no questions

[prettiest bitch]  
ill search it up later

[pigeon man]  
so hold on  
if we all like shouyou  
wtf do we do

[kazekage]  
idk cry maybe

[prettiest bitch]  
ugh tobio chan u party pooper🙄  
we all vie for his love

[pigeon man]  
by doing what?

[prettiest bitch]  
well

[mr clean]  
ill destroy you all  
we all know im the hottest here anyways

[pigeon man]  
UR BACK  
hold up

[prettiest bitch]  
hottest here…😃  
are we sure about that

[kazekage]  
imagine lying

[kodzuken]  
cant say ur the hottest when im here

[mr clean]  
but im right  
shouyou said it anyways

[prettiest bitch]  
HUH

[kodzuken]  
HES LYING 

[kazekage]  
i hate it here

[pigeon man]  
BUT WAIT OMI UR BACK WHAT HAPPENED

[mr clean]  
dont call me that.

[miyamiya]  
HE TRIED TO KILL ME

[kazekage]  
good?

[pigeon man]  
yikes i kinda dont care😬

[prettiest bitch]  
good riddance 

[miyamiya]  
IM NOT DEAD

[mr clean]  
unfortunately😒

[kodzuken]  
aw

[miyamiya]  
bye  
i hate you all  
gonna hang out with shouyou  
goodbye virgins

[prettiest bitch]  
WHAT DID YOU SAY

[kodzuken]  
imagine thinking im a virgin

[prettiest bitch]  
u game all day  
would it REALLY be a surprise???💀

[kazekage]  
ooo yikes

[pigeon man]  
why does kageyama like setting himself up

[kazekage]  
IM NOT A VIRGIN THO

[prettiest bitch]  
…

[kodzuken]  
…

[pigeon man]  
…

[mr clean]  
…

[miyamiya]  
…

[prettiest bitch]  
atsumu chan i thought you were leaving?  
anyways-🙄

[kodzuken]  
all kageyama does is make his life hard  
i dont get it

[pigeon man]  
has he been pining as a virgin for 7 years

[kazekage]  
one more word

[prettiest bitch]  
this is too good

[mr clean]  
at least he keeps it in his pants 

[pigeon man]  
only cause he has no other choice

[kodzuken]  
technically  
hes kinda good looking  
why doesnt he jjst-

[prettiest bitch]  
what is stopping you😭

[kazekage]  
just bc i can control myself doesnt mean theres something stopping me

[pigeon man]  
control urself...yeah aight-

[mr clean]  
at least he does it better than oikawa

[prettiest bitch]  
HEY

[mr clean ]  
dont try to disagree either

[pigeon man]  
so who here has tapped it and when

[kodzuken]  
me, right before brazil

[oikawa]  
me, in brazil😇😇😇😇

[mr clean]  
me, after Brazil and he joined msby

[miyamiya]  
me, after brazil and-  
WAIT WTGSIQNSOAS

[mr clean]  
WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE

[miyamiya]  
NOSTFU WHEN DID U FUFK HIM  
WHAT MONTH

[mr clean]  
like november

[miyamiya]  
WHEN IN NOVEMBER

[mr clean]  
IDK BITFH LIKE THE 12TH?

[miyamiya]  
STFU I FUXKED HIM ON THE 17TH WHAT TEJ FUCKS

[pigeon man]  
YOOOOO

[kodzuken]  
OH

[kazekage]  
i…

[prettiest bitch]  
so it was like a fuck multiple people a month thing?  
same week?  
no fair why wasnt i invited😭

[mr clean]  
bc shouyou doesnt want ur dirty dick

[pigeon man]  
PAHAHAHAAHAAIHAANAAIAK

[prettiest bitch]  
😣

[kodzuken]  
damn  
it be like that

[mr.clean]  
my dick...was in the same place...miyas has been in..

[miyamiya]  
muah

[mr.clean]  
im gonna go get a check up for diseases...fuck..

[miyamiya]  
SHOUYOU FOESNT CARRY DISEASES-

[mr.clean]  
BUT YOU DO

[prettiest bitch]  
wow this is sad

[pigeon man]  
truly

[kazekage]  
u didnt even fuk him tho

[pigeon man]  
neither did you  
plus i JUST developed a crush okay gimme time

[miyamiya]  
ur so short tho

[pigeon man]  
so i cant fuck?  
im ugly then?  
im telling shouyou you called him ugly

[prettiest bitch]  
me too😋

[mr clean]  
on it rn

[kazekage]  
say less

[kodzuken]  
should i do a livestream telling this story cause-

[miyamiya]  
WHAT STORY  
AND NO DONT TELL HIM I SAID THAT I DDINR SAY ANYTHING  
I DIDNT CALL SHOUYOU UGLY

[prettiest bitch]  
*sent a photo*(zoom in of "SHOUYOU UGLY")  
this screenshot says others

[mr clean]  
heh

[kazekage]  
send it

[miyamiya]  
OKAY LETS SETTLE THIS

[pigeon man]  
settle what

[miyamiya]  
who gets to have hinata and why is it me

[mr clean]  
okay pls stfu

[kazekage]  
^^

[prettiest bitch]  
no one agrees with u atsumu chan

[pigeon man]  
sigh  
what do we do  
we all like him

[kodzuken]  
only one can have him

[kazekage]  
how bout we ask

[miyamiya]  
HA

[pigeon man]  
PFFFFFFT

[prettiest bitch]  
SHUTTT

[mr clean]  
could you imagine that conversation

[kodzuken]  
"shouyou i know youve fuckrd a lot of us, and some more of us like you, so whos the best?"

[miyamiya]  
well it aint oikawa

[prettiest bitch]  
excuse me😡  
why the hell not

[kazekage]  
ur just a piece of dick

[pigeon man]  
whens the last time he said he wanted to fuck u

[prettiest bitch]  
at least theres a last time  
when has he EVER said shit bout wanting you?

[mr clean]  
heh

[miyamiya]  
rekt

[kodzuken]  
hoshiumi be like "who want me"  
not shouyou😂

[kazekage]  
ha

[pigeon man]  
i truly dont get it  
why is kageyama laughing at ANYTHING in this chat  
UR LIFE IS SO SAD

[kazekage]  
I GET IT OKAY

[prettiest bitch]  
he so dry

[miyamiya]  
anyways  
shouyou has to choose one of us

[kodzuken]  
why cant he have us all

[pigeon man]  
huh

[kodzuken]  
why does he have to choose

[miyamiya]  
huh

[prettiest bitch]  
go on

[mr clean]  
no dont

[kodzuken]  
he can just date all of us cant he  
or like  
we take turns or whatever

[kazekage]  
this is so sad

[miyamiya]  
might not be a bad idea actually

[prettiest bitch]  
the question is am i willing to share  
the answer is no

[pigeon man]  
literally WHO asked you  
settle bitch

[mr clean]  
there are tears in my eyes

[miyamiya ]  
THERE REALLY ARE HAHAHAHAHAH

[kodzuken]  
HUH WHY

[pigeon man]  
whag happened

[kazekage]  
?

[prettiest bitch]  
waiting  
…  
🥱  
.  
whys it taking so long

[miyamiya]  
guys im  
hes  
like  
sobbing

[pigeon man]  
HUH

[kazekage]  
literally nothing happened 

[prettiest bitch]  
damn another piss baby

[mr clean]  
ur all going to hell  
HOW COULD TOU NOT THINK ABOUT THE FUCKNG GERMS WE WOULD SPREAD IF WEALL FUCKED SHOUYOU ALL THE TIME?@?!?!?! ITS BAD ENOUGH I FUFKED HIM THE SAME WEEK ATSUMU DDI TATS FUCKING WIDNAIDNWODKS DIM GONNA FUCKING

[pigeon man]  
DAMN

[mr clean]  
ITS SO FUCKING GROSS KODZUKEN WTFS WRONG WITH U WHY WOJLD WE ALL FUCK HIM ALL THE TIE I DONT WANNA TOUCH ANYWHERE WHERE OIKAWAS NASTY DIFK HAS BEEN

[miyamiya]  
HAH

[prettiest bitch]  
ITS BEEN THERE THO  
AND ITS NOT NASTY

[mr clean]  
U CAN GET IT TOO MIYA II WANNA RIP MY DICK OFF JUST THINMING OF THR FACT WE WERE IN THR SAME HOLE EW EW EW FUCK THIS CANT DO THIS ANYMORE IM GETGNG A DICK TRANSPLANT

[miyamiya]  
wow

[kodzuken]  
well  
one less dick for shouyou i guess

[kazekage]  
why would he even agree to this  
have we considered that hes not gonna fuck like 6 people at once- 

[prettiest bitch]  
there are tears streaming down my face

[pigeon man]  
DAMN both of yall crying  
AGAIN

[prettiest bitch]  
ITS SO FUCKING FUNNYYYYYY😭😭😭  
IS IT THAT BAD THAT SHOU CHAN FUCKED 2 PEOPLE INA WEEK

[mr.clean]  
NO  
ITS FINE  
BUT ITS FUFKING ATSUMU  
RIGHT AFGER ME  
WBY TEH FUFK  
EW  
IMFWINDOQNDOWMS

[prettiest bitch]  
HIS DICKS THAT BAD? 

[miyamiya]  
HE WOULDNT KNOW

[pigeon man]  
we can take an educated guess

[miyamiya]  
OMI OMI ITS BEEN MONTHS SINCE NOVEMBER  
WE ARE IN SUMMER  
WHENS TNE LAST TIME HE FUFKED ANY OF US ANYWAYS WHY DOES IT MATTER

[prettiest bitch]  
..  
a hot minute  
😔✊

[kazekage]  
this is pathetic  
he prolly doesnt even care

[kodzuken]  
oh yeah virgins here

[kazekage]  
yk what  
im adding hinata

[miyamiya]  
WHAT

[prettiest bitch]  
NO  
NO WTGSAIMSSO  
STOP HUH  
HO  
WHY

[pigeon man]  
YO CHIL.CHILL CNILL  
CNILL  
CHILL  
NO WHATS8WNSWOS

[mr clean]  
WTF R U DOINGGGG

[kodzuken]  
im-

[miyamiya]  
SOMEONE CHANGE THE CHAT NAME

*kazekage has added sunhina*

[kazekage]  
suffer.

*kazekage has left the chat*

[miyamiya]  
SHOUYOU KUN UHM

[sunhina]  
HIIII :D  
wait

[kodzuken]  
guys…

[sunhina]  
why is this chat called that?

*prettiest bitch has left the chat*  
*koduzken has left the chat*  
*pigeon man has left the chat*  
*miyamiya has left the chat*  
*mr.clean has left the chat*

[sunhina]  
uhm????  
guys?  
D:  
uhm...aight

*sunhina has left the chat*

pedro<3°•°•°•°

[sunhina]  
my friends are weird 

[zorokinnie]  
yeah ive seen  
you wanna videochat tonigjt?

[sunhina]  
yes babe :))

[zorokinnie]  
aight  
gotta go study now but ill call you  
love you<3

[sunhina]  
love u too<3

**Author's Note:**

> yeah hinata dont care at all HE HAS A BOYFRIEND IN BRAZIL(they got together after hinata fucked sakusa and atsumu dont worry he wasnt cheating he was just experimenting)
> 
> anyways hope u enjoyed whatevee that was


End file.
